I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
