dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You are a genius and a whore.
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