dude i'm inner monologue high
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
