Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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