I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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