This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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