Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
