we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Less talking, more tequila
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
