Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
