If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
