Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
