"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Vodka?
Forever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
