Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
