hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
