Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
