so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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