I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
