i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize