I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
