This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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