im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize