I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
