Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
