I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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