so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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