Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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