How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
nutella sex= disaster
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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