I'm jealous of your bromance
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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