What a fucking waste of an outfit
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
