My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
