at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
God, I missed his penis.
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