yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
