His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Randomize
