Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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