Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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