im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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