Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
