I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
