They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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