That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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