Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
