IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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