**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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