I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize