Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
