only you would photoshop your dick
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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