Plan B is the new Plan A
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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