I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
