he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
