no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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