Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
