My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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