i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize