is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize