i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
