You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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