Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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