i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
