I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
