im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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