Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
