i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't deserve a penis
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
